you are everywhere yet nowhere
upon waking you are on my mind
falling asleep filled with images of you
our wedding picture in the living room
family picture in the dining
grief is like food coloring into water
there is no chance of remaining untouched
it colors everything, every space
nothing left alone or unchanged
even when I make my coffee thoughts of you come in
simple things, complicated things, you are in them all
and yet I cannot find you
I cannot hear you or see you
I wonder where you really are right now
are you here in the streaks of sunlight?
the warmth of the light on my skin even when the air is so cold?
or are you actually nowhere?
I hope you still exist somehow, someway, somewhere
I’ve begged to hear from you in my dreams but nothing comes
no secret signs or magical assurances
your absence is more present than you
everywhere yet nowhere